It's time to choose yourself

Hey ,

This week I shared a post on Instagram about that went mega viral. I’ll recap the post and dive a little deeper on why I felt it was an important message to share…

Here’s the thing:

I don’t think the most impressive thing about Simone Biles is that she’s arguably the best athlete in the world...

What I think is most impressive...

Is that at the 2020 Olympics, she decided not to compete (when she was already there, ready to go!) - because she knew that dropping out was the best decision for her mental and physical health.

She chose herself.

Above ego, above expectations, above judgement, above achievement, above “this is the peak of your career”, above pushing “once more”.

In today’s society where busyness is a badge of honor, burnout is a sign of success, sacrifice is a sign of selflessness and achievement is acceptance:

It takes an incredibly strong person to say:

I’m choosing myself.

Especially when it goes against everything we’ve been brought up to believe.

I can only imagine some of the things that were going through her head when she was making that decision, probably:

Will making this decision completely end my career?

Will I ever get this level of momentum again?

Will I live to regret this decision?

Am I letting down people who are relying on me?

Am I letting down people who are inspired by, or have supported me?

Will this decision to drop out, be what I am always known for?

I think this is an important conversation to have, because it applies to every single one of us - Olympian or not.

As I was writing the post, I was reminded of a quote I seen Steven Bartlett share:

And I’m inspired to ask you, what are you NOT quitting, because you think it would be a “failure”?

Is it finally time to quit your corporate job and go all in on your business?

Is it time to get a part-time job to support your business that hasn’t quite gotten off the ground yet?

Does it make sense to quit on your current business model because the consistent feedback is that it’s just not quite right?

Is it time to close the chapter on what you’ve been doing for a while, because you know you’re really ready for the next thing?

A lot of the time, we know deep down what the thing is that we should be letting go of, pivoting or closing.

So why exactly don’t we close the chapter and move on?

1. Sunk Cost Fallacy
   
   You keep putting effort into something because you've already invested a lot, even if it's not working out. Like finishing a boring book just because you've read half of it already. You feel like stopping now would waste all the time and resources you've already spent, even though deep down you don’t feel like continuing is the right thing for you.
   

2. Loss Aversion
   
   Aka: you really hate losing things more than you enjoy gaining them. So, you might stick with a bad job or relationship to avoid the pain of feeling like you've lost something. This fear of loss can make you blind to the potential benefits of moving on and trying something new.
   

3. Identity and Self-Concept
   
   Sometimes, what you do becomes part of who you are, especially as entrepreneurs. Quitting can feel like you're losing a part of yourself, making it hard to let go, even if it's the right choice. You worry that without this role or activity, you won't know who you are or how others will perceive you.
   

4. Cognitive Dissonance
   
   This happens when your actions don't match your beliefs, causing discomfort. An example may be that you believe in order to succeed, you have to push through and stay consistent, no matter what. If you’re not willing to challenge your beliefs, you might keep doing something that doesn't make sense just to justify your past decisions. You convince yourself that sticking with it is the right thing to do, even when deep down, you know it’s not.
   

5. Fear of Regret
   
   You're afraid that if you quit, you'll regret it later. You worry that stopping now means missing out on potential success or feeling bad about your decision in the future. This fear keeps you locked in, making it hard to recognize when it's time to move on.
   

6. The Lost Chance Fallacy
   
   You think that if you quit, you'll miss a unique opportunity that won't come again. You deeply believe that your momentum will completely stop and you’ll lose this window of opportunity. This belief keeps you stuck in situations, hoping things will get better.
   

7. Other People’s Perceived Opinions
   
   You're concerned about what others will think if you quit. You might stay in a bad situation because you're afraid of being judged or disappointing others. This fear of social judgment can be powerful, making it hard to prioritize your own needs and well-being.

…and what exactly can we do about it?

I often share my “FREEDOM” framework with clients when they’re thinking of making a big decision, change or closure.

• Focus on Success: Define what success looks like for you 10-15 years from now and create a roadmap to achieve it.

• Regularly Evaluate Decisions: Ask yourself if you would make the same decision today without considering past investments (time/money).

• Explore Pros and Cons: Make a pros and cons list that includes potential gains from quitting.

• Examine Past Experiences: Reflect on past experiences where new opportunities arose after closing one door (that you least expected!)

• Decide Based on Current Information: Focus on making the best decision with the information you have now.

• Open Up to New Possibilities: Create a mantra to keep you open to new possibilities and remind yourself that letting go can create space for better opportunities. Mine is “I’m available for a miracle”.

• Maintain Self-Compassion: Practice a self-compassion exercise and seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors.

Most importantly, I want to ask you:

Where are you not choosing yourself?

When is it time to finally choose yourself, and how does that look?

I’ve felt really inspired to answer those questions after reflecting on Simone Biles’ success, and maybe it’ll inspire you too.

XO
Natalie

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