I got really caught up in the highlight reel

Hey ,

I posted this on Instagram last week and as embarrassing as it was for me to admit, it felt good to actually say out loud, so I wanted to go a little deeper on it this week.

I've been creating content for over 10 years, and I still fall for the highlight reel.

Not the obvious stuff: the perfectly curated vacation photos or the "I woke up like this" morning routines. I see through those. But the subtle stuff. The worldview stuff. The beliefs that slip in through the back door of my consciousness while I'm scrolling, thinking I'm just "staying informed" or "getting inspired."

Some days I don't know if I'm making a choice because it's right for me or because I've been shown the same bold claim 17 times in a row.

Here's what I mean:

I follow health influencers, and I found myself genuinely stressed about seed oils at a restaurant because I'd absorbed the fear through osmosis. Look, I do avoid seed oils when I can. I understand they're inflammatory and worth avoiding. But I don't want to be fear-mongered into constantly feeling like a bad parent if my daughter gets them at a restaurant because I've seen someone on Instagram talk about how they're the literal devil.

I follow mom accounts with strong opinions about attachment parenting, and I noticed guilt creeping in when I traveled for work. Again, not because traveling conflicted with my values as a mother, but because I'd internalized someone else's definition of what good mothering looks like.

Here's the one that really woke me up: My husband and I started looking at properties with acres and acres of land. We were serious about it: touring homes, talking to realtors, the whole thing. Until one day I stopped and asked him, "Why are we looking at land?"

We stared at each other.

We love walkability. We don't want to spend weekends mowing lawns. We're not homesteaders. We'd absorbed this romanticized version of rural life from Instagram, and it had literally influenced a major life decision that was completely misaligned with who we actually are. It’s f**king embarrassing , but it’s the truth.

The algorithm isn't just showing us content. It's shaping our beliefs. And most of us don't even realize it's happening.

The Invisible Cost

This isn't just about wasted time or digital overwhelm. It's about identity distortion.

When we consume the same type of content repeatedly, we start outsourcing our beliefs, values, and even our fears to people we've never met. We lose touch with what actually feels true for us, versus what we've been algorithmically trained to believe.

I see this everywhere: Women convinced they need 9-figure businesses simply because they follow entrepreneurs who do, even though they actually crave simplicity. Parents stressed about organic everything because they follow accounts that make conventional choices seem like moral failures. People buying houses they can't afford because they follow lifestyles that look beautiful, but don't match their actual values.

The cost isn't just confusion, it's the erosion of our inner compass. It becomes harder to hear our own voice amidst the noise of everyone else's certainty.

I've watched brilliant women: CEOs, coaches, mothers, second-guess their instincts because they consumed content that made them question their choices. Not through thoughtful reflection, but through algorithmic exposure to someone else's worldview.

The Reclamation

The solution isn't to unplug entirely or become a digital hermit. It’s to build discernment. To become conscious curators of our own mental environment.

Here's what I've been doing:

Taking content breaks by category. When I notice myself getting reactive or anxious about a particular topic, I take a deliberate break from that type of content. No health influencers for a week. No parenting accounts for a few days. I give my nervous system space to recalibrate.

Diversifying my inputs. I'm reading more books, having more in-person conversations, listening to longer-form content where nuance actually has room to breathe. I'm feeding my brain with perspectives that don't fit in a 15-second reel.

Returning to my values. I have a simple practice: before I make any major decision, I ask myself, "If I lived in a world without social media, what would I choose?" The answer usually reveals what I actually believe versus what I've been influenced to believe.

Muting and unfollowing strategically. I've started unfollowing accounts that trigger reactivity instead of resonance. Not because they're wrong, but because they're not aligned with where I am right now. I can look at someone's 9-figure business and think, "Wow, that's awesome, I'm so happy for you" and know it's not what I want for myself. I'm choosing content that makes me think, not content that makes me anxious.

Curating my algorithm intentionally. Most people don't realize they have control over what they see. I actively engage with content that aligns with my values and scroll past content that doesn't. I'm training my algorithm to serve me, not the other way around.

The Deeper Truth

This isn't about being weak or easily influenced. You're not broken for absorbing the energy of what you consume. You're human.

But in a world where content is optimized for virality (hello, it’s me, I’m part of perpetuating the problem!)… not truth, not nuance, not your wellbeing… we have to take radical responsibility for what we allow into our minds.

Here's what I want you to know: None of this is wrong. The people sharing their perspectives aren't wrong. The homesteaders aren't wrong. The health advocates aren't wrong. The business coaches aren't wrong. I’m literally one of those people who shares my beliefs loud and clear on the internet.

But that doesn't mean their way, or my way, is your way.

Your feed is not your moral compass. You are.

The goal isn't to never be influenced. It's to be intentional about what influences you. To choose your inputs as carefully as you choose your friends. To build such a strong relationship with your own inner voice that you can appreciate someone else's path without feeling like you need to walk it.

Because here's what I've learned: The strongest leaders aren't the ones who never change their minds. They're the ones who know the difference between their own voice and the echo of everything they've consumed.

The question isn't whether you're being influenced. The question is: Are you choosing what influences you?

I’m curious…

What's one belief you've been holding lately that might not actually be yours?

Hit reply and tell me. I read every response.

XO,
Natalie

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Curate Your Algorithm Like You Curate Your Calendar

If your feed is shaping your beliefs (and it is), then it deserves the same intentionality as your calendar, your diet, or your inner circle. This week, treat your content consumption like an environment audit.

Here’s how to do it in 10 minutes:

1. Open your Instagram or TikTok. Scroll 10 posts.
   For each one, ask: Does this make me feel reactive or reflective? Anxious or anchored?

   If it doesn’t align, mute or unfollow. Don’t overthink it.
   

2. Search and follow 3 new accounts that reflect where you’re going, not just where you’ve been.
   (Think: values-aligned voices, longform thinkers, or creators who inspire clarity over urgency.)
   

3. Train the algorithm: Intentionally like, save, and share the content that reflects your truth. Scroll past anything that triggers reactivity, even if it's from someone you admire.

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